Lies, lots of them

For abit i was side-tracked

It began with lunches, flowers and itty bitty things that make you feel loved.

Everyone deserves to be loved. That includes you.

He was such a smooth talker. I enjoyed his company.
It was like a good massage to a knotted mind.

There is nothing more attractive than a guy being smart.

he'd poke fun at me.
he thinks the boyfriend is tall and good-looking
he thinks the bestfriend cute too
he thinks he doesn't match up
i told him he doesn't have to

I just liked his company. Talking, having a proper conversation. Making sense of the world when what i see was all so broken, so contorted.
I didn't expect him to breakup with his girlfriend.

I didn't want to fill her shoes*

and so i stopped.
telling him of my troubles. talking to him.

i miss you
he'd say.

i miss you too
i thought you were my friend
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The attention is too much.

*when he left me for someone else i asked myself
why would anyone want to have my old shoes?
smelly old frog
and i thought i was the only one who'd be capable of loving him
boy was a wrong, just like i'm wrong about alot of things

same thing happened to my bear
just that he's no longer mine