Too far to run back and no light ahead

Rangga gave me good advice, 2 weeks too late.

I've finally found my calling, 2 years too late.
Actually many years lah. I should have followed my heart after high school. But again bad decision making : taking the advice of all people – my mom.

I really worry about my history of bad decisions.
My mother chastisizing me again.

My mom. The nightmare never ends. The sole reason why I’m fucked up.

Sometimes I wonder of all the things that wouldn’t have happen if I had followed my heart. No Shaun, No Kai most importantly, No Victor and how different I would have been. Still bratty I expect.

At this point - I am truly lost.

I’m hoping a session at Mambo will cure me.
Drinking not the dancing. I wouldn’t be caught dead dancing to retro.
Retro irritates me. Ah Beng’s irritate me. Synchronized dancing irritates me.

I’m irritable today. 2 days leave and I have to work 2 days. WTF!!!!!!!

Need retail therapy.
*Itching to spend money*

Downing a jack at coke at 12 noon. I deserve it. Stop looking at me like I’m an alcoholic!