object of my affection  

Let's talk about love

I'm devastated. I really can't describe how i really feel because its this sinking feeling that the world's really really fucked out there. My aunt's heartbroken. And i can do nothing about it.

She's waited almost a decade to be with the man she loves. They marry and then he choses to leave her, for a younger woman. They're in their 50s, married less than a year ago and he announces that he's packing his bags.

WHAT THE FUCK?!?!

I remember losing my loved one. The feeling of not wanting to get out of bed ever. Every step being heavy and just wanting to be in my dark, dark room. Alchoholism. Every love song seemed like nails on a chalkboard. Gut wrenching. And i th0ught i'd never live to see another day. It's been 3 years since that time. So i guess doesn't mean that when you're old, it gets any easier to get over heartbreak.

To all those who think that its her fault for not being able to keep her man ...
FUCK YOU.
To the man who walked out on her ...
Shame on you, because you walked out on a great woman.

Then ask why she get married only in her 50s? When she was young and attractive she worked her arse out to put 5 younger siblings to school to help her single mom. (my grandma) She worked herself haggard. Cooking for family functions and when i say family i'm talking about catering for 30+ people. no joke .. 7 siblings minimum 3 kids each. Now elder grandkids are even married with their own kids, spouses etc. She's my Singapore idol. And i love her.

my eye candy 

The real deal 

Don's pies~! 

making a wish~! (i wish my girlfriend will stay beee-yew-ti-fool and love me for eva and eva) LOL 

pretty lites  

i'll kill u~! 

blow~! vic blow~! 

cake 2big 3small 

Bedtime: Sans scary make up; pj buddies talk and i still had eyebrows 

The start of a long march

I powered on my lappy and did the best thing I did for myself. I made a promise. That i was going to change for the better. Do things that made me happy, love myself more, and start a path of neverending self improvement. Alot of my past was about dating the wrong people, and damn and i glad for the people who stuck around and stuck with me so today is a new beginning. I'm going to start the blog well not really the start but kick of with a spanking new me. I'm back and i promise sexier than ever.

What prompted me to scrutinise myself? Past 2 mths my life has been work. off day. sleep in. work. Most recently it's been work. off day. play game. nap. msn. nap. work and the whole vicious cycle just kicks in my world a repetition living my brains a lump of fermenting crap. The words of a very frank a* hole revertibrates in repetition You like being heavy and fat?
I'm not an idiot to sarcasm i'm sure he didn't mean it that way and no i don't like being this way. I haven't liked what i've seen in the mirror for sometime now.

I'm no longer just a scar on the bedpost. Reminiscence of some lay that you'd thought you'd never get. I'm no longer the person you got to absorb all the blame because someone has to take the rap. And if you think you still can kick me around please be prepared for a kick back. :D